Whitewater Blog Archives
When the water is low, we often get a lot of phone calls asking if rafting is “still fun.”
We have 3 answers for that inquiry: #1 RAFTING IS ALWAYS FUN! #2 Check out these awesome photos from the last few weeks! #3 We firmly believe that the key to a good time is a good attitude and good jokes. In fact, our office manager Teal has been known to say “I think 90% of raft guiding is telling jokes!”
Fortunately, our guides have the largest lexicon of jokes on the Animas River!
We’ve got cow jokes:
“What do you call a cow that just gave birth?”
And more cow jokes…
“What do you say when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?”
“Wait…What did you just say?”
“ UDDER DESTRUCTION.”
It doesn’t end there!
“What do you call a cow with three legs?”
*rolls eyes and nods*
“LEAN BEEF! What do you call a cow with one leg?”
“I can’t believe this is still happening…”
“STEAK!! What do you call a cow with no legs?”
“When will it end…?”
In fact we have so many cow jokes, we get reviews about it:
And how do we respond?
Now, cow jokes are great and all, but sometimes we like to shake up our material with a few rafting themed jokes….
“Where does a river guide put her tip money?”
“THE RIVER BANK!”
Or maybe this one…
“Why are rivers so rich?”
“I dunno, because they’re really beautiful and full of natural scener-”
“BECAUSE THEY HAVE TWO BANKS!”
And of course there’s always the classic:
“What is the difference between a medium 2 topping pizza and a raft guide?”
“Well gee! I don’t know, but pizza sure sounds good…”
“One can feed a family of four.”
“Well, that joke wasn’t really funny. But can you tell us where the locals get pizza in Durango?”
The best part is, we do know where the good pizza is (Homeslice Pizza for sure!) and we have many more suggestions for great food and entertainment that our guides would gladly share with you and your family.
Once we’ve exhausted all of cow jokes, and our rafting jokes, we move on to the dad-jokes….
“Why did the tomato blush?”
“I dunno, why?”
“Because he saw the SALAD DRESSING!”
Nothing says “dad joke” more than terrible puns…
“What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?”
“This seems oddly specific, but I don’t know….?”
We like to think we’re punny, but really we just aspire to be as punny as our own dads…
“What did the buffalo say to his kid on their first day of school?”
By this point you’ll be telling us jokes and we’ll be taking notes for new material. Then we’ll probably be reaching our class III whitewater park, and nearing the end of our rafting trip. So we buckle down, tuck our feet into the boat and get ready to get soaked and have fun!